What a Long Strange Trip it's Been

A year ago, as I prepared to make my traditional Christmas dinner (see post tomorrow) and looking at the new year, I felt like crap and was making plans for dialysis in the new year.

What a long strange trip it's been.

One year later, I'm sitting here having started the day with a 3.6 mile run (I've run 5 times this week) and am making plans to go to China -- for a class in my Doctorate and a side trip with my wife Kelly to check out Kunming for possible (maybe probable) relocation and ministry -- Lord willing -- starting in August.

What a long strange trip it's been.

Hopelessness (though with a sense of hope but unclear what it would look like) one year ago.

Hopefulness (with a wonder at how blessed I am)

A friend said to me the other day "are you nuts, thinking about going to China?" "I mean, you've got a great house and a good life here." "But there, man, it's a pit -- why would you do that."

My response is thankfulness to God for my illnesses and uncertainty that they have exposed me to. Think of all the people God called to minister in "hard" conditions -- so very many of them were "blessed" with poor health and disease in their past. I'll let you in on a secret: Going to "suffer" in China sounds so wonderful, it feels like I've won the lottery to even be considered by God as a candidate to be used by him as a blessing to widows and orphans -- like the homeless little girl at the top of the page walking past policemen who seemingly don't care, and the baby in the grime -- in a place with such great need. I'm a naturally selfish guy (I don't have to try hard to want my own way). Yet God, God alone is able to mold missionaries -- so often through prying our fingers away from the things that we normally want to get our comfort in.

"You'd be making such a sacrifice." Really? Huh. It doesn't feel like it at all -- and I know that's not me,'cause I'm actually not a very good person.

What a long strange trip it's been.