We're All Day To Day

Maybe you know this about me, maybe you don't. I have had three kidney transplants, the most recent coming three years ago.

Three times in my life I have gone from the peace of the reality of good health to the reality of declining health accompanied by the myriad of complex and hard to explain emotional, spiritual and physical complexities. As I have written elsewhere, I am a better person for this all, though I never would have chosen this path, God's has deeply shaped me through these trials, for which I am deeply thankful, yet the pain of the process still lingers, still scares me from time to time. Like I said, it is complicated.

Every three months I get my blood tested, then a couple of days later visit the nephrologist. As the days approach, my mind starts to question my body, inventorying anything that might signify that something might be going bad; "Am I more tired than usual?" "I felt a little sick the other day." "My feet seem to be swelling" "Is my skin itching?" As the days approach, I think of reasons to cancel the appointment -- maybe it would be better not to know if something is going wrong, after all, you don't know what you don't know; ignorance sometimes seems bliss.

I got my blood taken last Thursday and went to the doctor today (we had to take my daughter to the airport today and I thought that might be a good reason to cancel the appointment -- we'd either have to come home and then back to Seattle, or find a way to kill 4 hours). I didn't cancel, I made my appointment.

I seem really cheery at my appointments, making small talk with the assistant as she takes my blood pressure (blood pressure can spike if your kidney is failing). Today she finished and said, "your blood pressure is good, 120/70, I'll go get the doctor." I had half expected her to look at the readout, scream and run for emergency help. So far so good. The doctor comes in, asks how things are, small talk, NCAA hoops, and then . . . the papers are in front of him, the papers with the results from Thursday's blood tests. The numbers tell the story now, what will they say? The time between him starting to peruse them and his speaking to me seeming to take forever. "Your Creatinine is 1.3." A simple sentence, the meaning of which most people would not know or care. But for me? He might as well have waved a magic wand over me and said "carefree." 1.3 - normal, 1.3 - healthy, 1.3 - a very well functioning kidney. Immediately I feel great. No tiredness, no itching, no anything. I feel great. I've been healed -- for three months.

Sometimes when somebody finds out about my health history, they say something like, "I can't imagine what it would be like to know that your kidney could fail." I love the discussions that ensue when I tell them the reality; "we are all day to day, I am just more aware of it than most people."

Life is too short, or more accurately, we have no idea how short or how long it will be. Jesus says "I have come that they may have life and have it to the fullest." Is that your experience? I find that when it is not, it is often because of living in fear. God does not want you to waste your life, God does not want you to be afraid. He wants you to trust him -- with everything, and in the process experience a peace that is completely unexplainable. Every day God is calling you into an amazing Kingdom partnership with him - and he offers you fearlessness, a spell cast as we trust him, which says "carefree." What is God is calling you to, but that you are afraid to do? You may not have tomorrow, we are all day to day.

It Would Be A Lie To Run Away

Today is Ash Wednesday the door though which we enter Lent, enter the journey to Easter. It is a time to look at our finitude, our frailty, our pain and even our death.

I did not grow up in a tradition that observed Lent. While there may be many reasons for its absence from the church calendar, ultimately its absence had theological consequences, or perhaps its absence was a consequence flowing from a larger theological weakness, I don't know. In my tradition, it was all good, and then it was Easter -- kind of super good, and the next week back to good again (until Christmas when it was super good again for a day). It was a theology that said our journey was a two segment journey to the cross and then from the cross. (actually it became a one segment journey, but that is for topic for another post)

A journey to the cross and a journey from the cross. While that is right, I think it is not right enough.

I think that our journey, instead of a two segment journey, is rather a three segment -- not necessarily linear -- journey, to the cross, through the cross and from the cross. While the miracle of grace tells us that God does all of the work in each of those segments, each is nonetheless necessary. And yet, the middle segment, the "through the cross" segment is often ignored. And for good reason; nobody wants to go to through the cross. The cross is suffering, the cross is pain, the cross is hard. "Jesus did the cross thing, not me."

Yes, Jesus "did the cross thing." But, can we truly identify with him without taking some time to identify with his suffering? I'm not suggesting some weird earning through suffering thing, I'm suggesting an identification thing. How do we fully identify with Christ if we never identify with his suffering. But, we don't want to go there. We live in a culture of suffering avoidance -- we spend $40 billion annually on pain medicine! We are a people obsessed with finding a cure for every possible pain, and that obsession infiltrates our Church and tells us we should do the same. And in the process, we lose something important.

Lent provides us with a cure for our obsession to find a cure for every pain. "Oh my Lord, to suffer as you do, it would be a lie to run away."

Who Told You That You Were Naked?

Who told you that you were naked? Genesis 3:11

Exposed, accused, guilty, shameful; whispered voices, “You are naked.” We are all works in progress, imperfect, often not the people we want to be. It is God’s plan for each of us to move towards our true self, what the Bible calls sanctified. While none of us will fully achieve that state this side of heaven, we are at the same time seen by God as having already attained it – through Jesus’ work on the cross. If you are a follower of Jesus, God sees you as complete, holy, without shame, and clothed.

- Are there voices that tell you otherwise?
- Whose voice might they be?
- Do they ever claim to be God’s voice?
- Whose voice is it that tells you that you are naked?

Take a moment and consider the tragic story of the fall of man and the restorative voice of God in the garden.

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. Genesis 1:31

The LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.” Genesis 2:16–17

The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25

“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. Genesis 3:4

She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Genesis 3:6-7

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”

He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Genesis 3:8–11

God’s plan is that each of us moves further and further into our true self, further and further into the person He already sees us as, further and further sanctified. He invites us to move forward, yet never condemns us; never tells us that we are naked.

- Who tells you that you are naked?
- What might the voice of God be saying to you instead?

What God Hates -- April 15 Edition

Warning: This Post Is Not Intended To Be Political.

So, I was at the gym today and the TV was showing some tea party folks protesting at the Capital. One protester's sign caught my attention and prompted this post. It read: "God Hates Taxes."

Really?

I always get nervous when I see signs, blogs, articles and the like which start with the words "God hates." (do you see the irony of the title of today's post? Nice, huh?) Anyway, those words make me a bit uncomfortable; those words make me a lot uncomfortable. Blogs, and signs that tell us what God hates paint a picture of God that I do not find in scripture. If you want to get depressed, google "God hates," you will find that God hates an awful lot (which is ironic since God is love, and therefore gets me asking questions like; where does love store all that hate?) What's even more depressing if you google the phrase is that you will find that God hates you. Yes, God hates you (which he doesn't and so disproves the whole "God hates" categories, but let us not confuse truth making our point).

So, back to today's tax day edition of What God Hates -- God Hates Taxes. On one level, yes, God hates taxes, in that taxes are needed in large part because of the brokenness of the world. If we did not have crime, if we did not have poverty and injustice, if we did not have systemic evil, if we all were just, if we all truly sought first His Kingdom, we would need no taxes because the world would be as God intended it to be -- and the way it one day will be. But, it is not, and we do not (though wouldn't it be a beautiful thing if all of the tea party folks and all of the rest of us did; started giving stuff away and seeking justice, mercy and humility in such a way that we did not need as many taxes because we were acting like the Kingdom agents we were supposed to be?) But, I don't think that is what the guy with the sign meant.

God hates taxes? No, God hates that we do not seek to give more away and thus make taxes irrelevant. In the meantime, we have the words of Jesus (who by the way is God and who paid taxes and spoke specifically to this issue and thus laid all doubt to rest) Give to Caesar what is Caesar's (taxes and respect) and give to God what is Gods (everything).

Happy tax day.

How God Showed Up

This Sunday we who make up the Creekside community are gathering to celebrate How God Showed Up in 2009.

I like that. I think God likes that.

The story of God's people is replete with admonitions to remember; monuments, rituals, celebrations, all given by God to help us remember. God wants us to remember how he showed up.

How did God show up in 2009?

In many ways the question is the exercise, in many ways the question is the answer. If it takes you a while to answer, then the question has served its purpose. How did God show up? How did he not. Do we celebrate only the big things that break "our way?" Or, does God "show up" when nobody notices, or maybe do we just not notice when God shows up.

What if this year we spent each day trying to capture notes for next years celebration of How God Showed Up? I think we would have a bit more -- more stories, more joy, more peace, more satisfaction, more God.

STOP. Look around you. The Kingdom of God is near.

The Hopes and Fears of all the Years

I love everything about Christmas. Everything.

Every year I intentionally try to slow down time so the season does not get behind me. I’m not kidding. I look at the calendar in early November and think, “it’s almost ‘the Christmas Season!’” From the time Thanksgiving is over until the first Monday of January (I include New Year’s and the College Football bowl games in “The Christmas Season”), it is Christmas. And, I try to soak in every moment, I always have.

Until relatively recently, I took my love of Christmas for granted. I assumed it was the same for everybody. Oh, I knew that there were a few people for whom Christmas was a dark and difficult time, people for whom the best part of the Christmas season was that it would soon be over. But I never really thought much about the struggle that Christmas was for these people; after all, Christmas is a jolly time.

Recently, I have begun to think more about those for whom Christmas is hard. I still don’t understand it, I can’t relate to a feeling I have never had. Yet, I’ve become more and more convinced that it is to those for whom the season is hard that Jesus is most naturally drawn. Like Mary, His mother; confused yet hopeful, afraid and cold, in a stable, having just given birth and then having to lay her newborn baby -- the baby that she alone knew for sure was special -- in a makeshift bed, a dirty animal feeding trough. “This cannot be how God planned it; something must have gone wrong – did I somehow mess this up?”

Hopes and fears, disappointment and regret, they often share the stage together. They mingle in a demonic dance where hope is seemly killed, done in by fear and her supporting cast.

And then Jesus enters the scene.

Yet in Thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting Light;
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in Thee tonight.

The hope that is spoken of in the Christmas songs is the hope spoken of by Jesus when He told people why He had come; to proclaim good news to the poor, to proclaim liberty to the captives, recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, and to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.

I love Christmas, I always have. Yet, so many people do not. I have never really understood how that could be, but Jesus always has. Jesus mourns with those who mourn – especially at Christmas. The words that He spoke were the Christmas promise realized.

The hopes and fears of all the years are met in Him tonight.

Question for a Christian

So, was thinking today. How often to people who are not Christians really get a chance to ask questions of a Christian? I mean if you search the web, there are a lot of places where Christians claim to know it all, but most of them come across as know it alls.

I think people would welcome the opportunity to engage in the conversation without an alternative motive of conversion. Others will answer questions, but they are not Christians, just people trying to refute Christians,. How can you answer questions about something that you are not a part of. Really only a Christian can answer questions for Christian.

So, I set up a website Ask A Christian. I come from a point of view, of course. But, I will not dismiss questions and will say when I don't know.

Pass on the link to people who have questions.

The True Meaning of Christmas

It's not the point of the story, but it's the point of Christmas -- sacrifice for others because we know we have a hope outside of ourselves, so we can live (and die) for those other than ourselves. This man demonstrated Christmas with his death.

The prize for best trivializing of Jesus' gospel goes to . . .

I was driving around today when I came upon a pick-up truck with a couple of bumper stickers on it. The first one, said Jerusalem, only the 4th, 5th and 6th letters were bigger and red white and blue -- clever. Don't know what it is supposed to mean, but clever (I never noticed that USA was in the word Jerusalem, but then I've always been really bad at word search puzzles).

After my "hey, USA is in the word Jerusalem" moment, I noticed the above sticker. It made me wonder about the guy driving the car. I wondered how he would describe his understanding of what Jesus bought with his death? I wonder what his family, friends and neighbors would say what Good News was for him. I don't mean to judge, I don't know this guy. But, at the same time, I don't think -- even in an era where a reductionist gospel is the norm -- that I have ever seen the salvation Jesus offers trivialized more grotesquely.

Death and Re-birth

I am in morning. I am in the midst of loss.

I say these things with the awareness and apologies to those who are experiencing more immediate loss or morning -- of a loved one, of . . . whatever. My loss is more amorphous in many ways yet specific in others. People, Places, Sights, Sounds.

As I come upon T minus 1 week before my departure for Redmond, Washington, the emotions stirring in me are many. I am so excited to be moving -- not from something but to something. I am so grateful to have been asked to lead a wonderful group of people on mission with God and for his Kingdom. I cannot wait to see what God will do with Creekside in the City of Redmond and beyond. I believe He will do amazing things in us and through us!

Yet this week -- working with Rex on his role review knowing that as he reaches his goals I will not be there; speaking to teens and young adults this week who I will no longer see, final discipleship appointments, saying goodbye to so many places, and spaces and faces.

Sadness

Any and every change brings with it to greater or lesser degrees loss, death . . . and re-birth.

I'm excited, I'm bummed. I'm dying, I'm being born.

Confessions

I re-read the words of Saint Augustine, Bishop of Hippo today and again was amazed at the beauty and truth of the passage below.

Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you!

You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things that you created. You were with me, but I was not with you.

Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you, they would not have been at all.

You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness.
You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed your fragrance on me;

I drew in breath and now I pant for you. I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more. You touched me, and I burn for your peace.

a blast from the past

I was walking down blog memory lane -- sad, but true -- and came across my first ever blog post. "I like that," I thought. So, here it is again:

Imagine.

Imagine what it would would happen if in your community there sprung up 2 or 3 or 6 or 10 or 15 groups of 8 to 15 people who are all committed to being apprentices together of Jesus; to learn what it means to be in accountable community, but saw thier roles as representatives of his Kingdom in whatever setting they spend most of their time.

Imagine if each of these missional communities in learning what it means to be an apprentice of Jesus, in community, adopted a neighbor -- a low income apartment building, or single mom, or family, and just blessed them with food, or time, or whatever.

Imagine if each one of these missional communities gave birth to another missional community that did the same.

Imagine if the people who were blessed by the mercy and grace poured out by these communities began to talk to each other about the strange thing they have experienced in having thier needs met by almost perfect strangers who want nothing in return, and find out that others in need have been blessed as well.

Imagine if the only common denominator between the blessors is not race, or color, or gender or age, but Jesus.

Imagine what it would look like if God's Kingdom were done here the way it were done in heaven.

Imagine what it would look like if people actually did go and make disciples of all the nations.

Imagine.

Transformed Lives For A Transformed World

Nowadays every church wants to be "missional." Some don't really know what that means, only that "missional church" is the way of the future and they need to "do that" to survive -- I do not judge. Others understand the precept that we as a Church have strayed and need to reconnect with our charge as a sent people, sent and sending. Yet they do not know how. How do we move from the idea of being a protective enclave, neither in the world or of the world to a gathered people being sent and finally to a sent people who gather to build up, share stories of the journey, encourage, rejoice and praise?

We have been in a period of prophecy and proclamation -- wise and Godly men and women shining a light on the church and challenging us to reclaim what has been lacking. In this time, there have been very few able to really say what that might look like, to discover the threads of commonality between truly missional expressions of the church and the processes to attain and sustain it. Maybe that is beginning to change. We have been experimenting with a processes of deep spiritual development and engagement with the poor -- taking people on the journey inward, the journey outward and the journey together are coming on the scene, and finding at the end, transformed lives for a transformed world.

We live on the precipice of unprecedented times for the Church. A good time. And exciting time. A time where we will see amazing things done for the Kingdom of God. I feel privileged that God chose me to be a part of all of this.

A Road To, Through and From

I was thinking the other day about the cross. I was thinking about suffering. I was thinking about how much I and you want to avoid suffering. I was thinking about the cross. I was thinking about life.

And began to think about life and the cross. My life, your life, Christ's cross, our cross. I have come to realize three realities of the cross and my life:

All life must must go to the cross. Jesus is both the author and sustainer of all life. We live in a world marked by brokenness and suffering and Jesus on the cross bought for us the ability to partner with God in his redemptive plan to be agents of his Kingdom restoring the brokenness of a messed up world. Our life -- a surrendered life -- must go to the cross.

All life must go through the cross. We cannot avoid the the suffering of this world, we must not avoid the suffering that flows naturally from a lifestyle that rejects the cultural captivity and that suffers loss as it both seeks to bless the world and reject the power systems in it. We share in the sufferings of Jesus at the cross and become more of humanity as he intended and become transformed into a redemptive force for good in the world. Everything worth living comes from dying.

All life must go from the cross. We don't stay there in whole. We go to the cross repeatedly, we go through the cross repeatedly and we go from the cross repeatedly as sent agents of incarnation, carrying with us the hope of going to the cross, the pain of going through the cross and the hope of living out a life as new creation, and for new creation; to live lives as a sign, a signpost and instruments of God's kingdom done on earth as it is done in heaven.

All of us to varying degrees and in various ways steer off this road to, through and from the cross. All seek at times to avoid the surrender, the suffering or the sentness that is the reality of who we are. But, there really are no detours. All who travel this road must accept, and then cheer, that the continual journey to, through and from the cross.

The Poor You Will Always Have With You

Someone asked me a while back what I thought about Jesus' statement when the people grumbled about the woman who "wasted" so much money on perfume for jesus head. Couldn't the money have a better use, couldn't it be used to care for the poor? We all remember Jesus' reply: "For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me." Amazingly Jesus words have even been used as an excuse to not care about the poor -- why bother, they will always be there. I have been asked about the verse before, and I'm sure I will be again. But, the other day I had a new thought about it's meaning.

What if Jesus was actually being consistent with himself when he said "whenever you care for the least and the hurting you have cared for me?" What if Jesus was saying, "you have me here now, perfume me up, bless me." "And when I am gone, continue to do so when you see me in my distressing disguise." What if it is all about worshiping God, then and now, that all we do and all we are is dependent upon seeking more of God? And, what if that is actually experienced with our hands and feet in service to the underdog.

Love God with all your heart and mind and soul.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

I think these commandments are in that order for a reason.

My little girl's art work

A dad never gets tired of seeing his baby's art -- even when she is all grown up.

What, you chicken?

Saw this today, from Song of the Bird by Tony de Mello

A man found an eagle's egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them.

All his life the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he would trash his wings and fly a few feet into the air.

Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among the powerful wind curents, with scarcely a beat of its' strong golden wings

The old eagle looked up in awe. "Who's that?" he asked.

"That's the eagle, the king of birds," said his neighbor. "He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth -- we're chickens."

So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that's what he though he was.

Is there a place in my life -- in your life -- where we are living as chickens when in reality God has made us eagles?

Don't Worry, Be . . . About The Kingdom

I guess if someone had to label what I do, they might call me a missionary. A missionary to the mission field we call home. But, that is not quite right. Maybe I am a prophet, to speak into and demonstrate to the Church what it can be. That is not quite it either. Maybe church planter. But, where is my church, where is the building, where is the parking lot. I would say that I am trying to live out a Kingdom ethic and lifestyle that redeems the way of Jesus to those whose observation of "the way of Jesus" would have been pretty unsettling to, well Jesus for one.

That last sentence, when said in an answer to the question "what do you do?" is a real conversation starter -- I mean stopper. In any event, I do what I do through the partnership of others who come alongside me and my family and provide us with the money we live on. We trust God each month to provide. And it is a thrilling adventure (in the light) but a scary alley in times of doubt.

We are living in the midst of rare economic times; there is an atmosphere of great economic uncertainty -- flowing from both quantifiable and less quantifiable data points. The result, however is anxiety -- lots of anxiety. Anxiety that causes those who might give to missionaries, or churches or church planters or whatever, to not do so. There are also some who have lost jobs and who have no money and do not know when that will change. And, their is anxiety in this missionary/church planter/prophet/whatever.

And so for me, I turned today to the sweet and comforting words of Jesus; which I write here, for you if you are anxious too, but mostly for me.

Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his ispan of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

So, today I will not be anxious. Instead, I will be about the King, his Kingdom and his business -- and rely a bit on the fact that he might have a better handle on the future than me.

Everyday Resolutions

I don't do New Years resolutions.

Maybe I just have so many things that need to change that if I waited until the first day of each year to write them down I would run out of paper and ink.

Maybe an everyday resolution, an everyday series of resolutions that I will succeed at and fail at and ultimately grow grow at. There are only four, but they should do Here goes:

1. To See God's Presence Throughout The Day

2. To Trust God Instead of Substitutes for Him

3. To Recognize God's Intimate, Unwavering Love For, And Belief In, Me

4. To See The Opportunity That God Brings Each Day To Incarnate Him

A Wonderful Christmas

So, that is our kitchen floor about 20 minutes after we finished dinner on Christmas Eve.

A wonderful meal, wonderful conversation, a fire in the fireplace, and watching It's A Wonderful Life. Then "boom," followed by a sound like a fire hose. Like the guy in The Night Before Christmas who" rose from his bed to se what was the matter, " (when he like us heard such a clatter) we ran to the kitchen to see a massive incoming tide from underneath the sink as pipes which had chosen this night to pop were quickly evacuating large quantities of water under great pressure. Every towel in the house was brought into action before the water soaked into the edges of our floor and underneath. Water off, everything soaked, then washing machine broke.

And you know what? It was a wonderful Christmas. We bought less, we worshiped more, we made gifts we helped the poor.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.